A Glass Case of Emotion

When I moved home and got a job, I didn’t exactly tell my new employers about my plans for graduate school.

Guilty

I needed a job and I didn’t think they’d hire me if they knew I’d be leaving in six months.

You sit on a throne of lies

I’ve never done anything so deceitful, and it ate away at me everyday I worked.

I'm sorry, so sorry

It was such a relief when I finally put in my notice and told them what I was doing (although I spun it in a way that made it sound like it had come about all of a sudden).

And the truth shall set you free

Of course, when everyone in my life knew that I was going to Scotland, I didn’t have anywhere to hide and pretend it wasn’t happening.

Well now they know

This is when the mood swings really started getting crazy. I started living in extremes.

Rapunzel mood swings

Some days I felt like I was on top of the world.

I will face the world fearless proud and strong

Why should I worry

Everywhere you look I'm standing in spotlight

Others…not so much.

I'm not cool enough to be at this party

I'm sweating like a sinner in church

One moment Scotland would look like a beautiful, enchanted land where all my dreams would come true.

Come with me and you'll be in a world of imagination

The next, it would look like a dark, scary monster ready to eat unsuspecting idealists like myself.

There's no earthly way of knowing which way we're going

The more attention I got, the more my ego skyrocketed.

Over falsity of confidence

I can't help that I'm popular

I eat success for breakfast

I'm brushing up on looking down

I haven't seen this much love since narcissus

Which only made my little negative voice more annoying…

I object, overruled

And made it harder to keep up my game face.

Wipe face and smile

But for me, my game face was pretty muted.

Ron muted happy

At best I was happy.

I kind of feel good

I didn’t want to be “that person” who never shuts up about all their fantastic opportunities. Even though on the inside, I was bouncing off the walls.

Running fist pumps

As I got closer to leaving and the reality of it all set in even more, I started to panic again.

Stewie rocking back and forth

Remember that guy from Brave that no one can understand?

Scottish accent

That’s a Scottish accent. A real Scottish accent that I will probably have to understand at some point.

I'm fucked

Furthermore, I’m a dreamer and an idealist. I talk about doing things like this while complaining about my life and eating cookie dough on the couch. I don’t actually do it! I’m not qualified to make those kind of decisions! Who let me do this?

I'm an idiot, ask anyone

Stupid kid on glass

I have the survival skills of a poodle

But hey, at least I know where Glasgow is.

Sarcastic yay clap

You’d be shocked by the number of people who think Glasgow is in Ireland (if they have any clue at all where it is). Well, just in case, here’s a map:

Map of Scotland

The more you know

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