Dolla Dolla Bill, Y’all

I’m trying to set myself up for a Cinderella moment – my beautiful year-long ball where I will dance with opportunities I can only dream of.

What's the catch

Will the clock strike midnight?

At the stroke of 12 the spell will be broken

You bet your sweet ass it will, and then the fairy godmother will be back for repayment with interest because shit ain’t free.

Counting money

In fact, school is rather expensive.

It's very expensive...

Just one limb for every academic year

Add on the debt I’ve already racked up in undergrad as well as all living expenses I’ll have over there – apartment, food, and new shoes (because a sheep will inevitably eat one) – because I have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting a job there or even having the time outside of school to work.

Did I hear that correct

And add as much extra money as I can reasonably loan because I’m a “just in case” kind of person. Also because once I return from this adventure, I will have sold my car, moved out of my apartment, and quit my job. I’ll be returning to nothing.

Throw up a little

But hey, at least I’ll have my Cinderella moment. For one year, I’ll live the relative high life.

Gatsby toast

I’ll travel…


Maybe I’ll find out what it means to be cultured…

Money fan

And I’ll have a great story to tell people when I come back.

Good news, guys, I spent all my money

Which is good, because after this, I’ll need those stories to entertain my future homeless brethren.

I declare bankrupcy

In doing this one year of graduate school, I am undoubtedly signing myself up for a lifetime of indentured servitude to student loans.

Ariel signing contract

All the same, thank you federal loan system for graciously accepting my offer of servitude in exchange for money.

Thanks, Satan

Here’s hoping I can seduce someone with my charming awkwardness.

My only job is to marry someone with money

Adjust boobs

Otherwise, well, I got nothin’.

Pay my bills, cut the cord

I’m not expecting a better paying job just because I’ll have a Master’s degree. I honestly haven’t seen that financially benefit anyone else around my age, so I’m only going to safely assume I can get the same part-time hourly positions I’ve had to pay off a crippling amount of debt.

Damn this is some scurry shit

There IS a small little voice in me reminding me that I’m living on Monopoly money and that someday the bubble will burst.

Wait, I totally forgot, this is real life

For the meantime, though, I’m comfortably enjoying denial.

I'm currently in deep denial


Well, more like blatantly ignoring it.

I can't hear you

I can't hear you, I'm going through a tunnel

I'm a fan of ignoring a problem until it goes away

My parents’ reactions when I gave them the total sum for my Cinderella moment is something I’ll never forget.

Eye popping

Start panicking

But it will all be worth it, right?

You're going to suffer, but you're gonna be happy about it

Laugh to cry


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