School Might Not Be Out For As Long As Alice Cooper Thought

There are a lot of people I make fun of. Among them are eternal students: the kids who love education so much and fear the real world to such an extent that they never leave school.

I don't want to grow up

In a cliche Hollywood twist, however, I have discovered that I, too, am an eternal student (or at least have the potential to be one). It’s not because I fear the real world, though. In fact, it’s because I’ve been so obsessed with the “real world” that I’m rebelling against it.

Fuck the police

See, I’ve always loved school. I love to learn. If I didn’t have any other responsibilities, I would take classes forever.

Learning is my whole life

I refused to admit it, though, because as I’ve mentioned before, I am practical and make good decisions.

Make good choices

I thought following dreams that didn’t involve a stable paycheck and a 401K were a foolish waste of time. Being happy and passionate is for naive idiots, after all.

You guys are too young to be this cynical

But then I woke up.

Everyone has two lives

I realized that safe was essentially the same as boring.

You're telling me to be bored for the rest of my life

And so I found myself sitting at the beginning of my last semester of college at 22-years-old, learning that I’d deluded myself into thinking my life would be “successful” because I didn’t fall into any of those pesky traps called dreams that make people crazy and give them purpose and excitement.

Tell me, princess, when did you last let your heart decide

So what had I done instead? Worked countless, exhausting jobs? Sacrificed a social life? Turned down amazing study abroad trips?

I've done nothing with my life

I could see my life ahead of me as clearly as if I’d already lived it. Five, ten, twenty years down the road (it doesn’t matter when), I would be working painfully predictable days making just enough to get by but never enough to go anywhere or do anything more than camping or a trip to the state capital.

Always the same narrow people, mindless chatter

After wallowing in self-pity over a pint of Ben&Jerry’s, I snapped myself out of it and decided I was going to find a way out the boring mess I’d gotten myself into.

Snap out of it, Buzz

I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now

I hated the future I saw before me, and I knew that if I didn’t do something drastic – something crazy – soon, I might never do something drastic again.

If you had the chance to change your fate...

...Would you

So I asked myself what I wanted. The answer was simple and immediate:

Bitches gots to learn

But I only had a few months of college left.


That’s when a seed a friend of mine planted a couple years earlier took root. This friend had recently returned from Ireland after spending a year there getting a Master’s degree. I saw her excitement from application to arrival back in the States. It had looked like a fairy tale to me, but suddenly, from my new perspective, it looked obtainable.

I have a dream

I knew I wanted to continue studying history (European history), so why not go to Europe? It saves me a trip to archives that I would have to make regardless. Plus, I get to live abroad for a year.

I want to go to there

I haven’t been outside of the country (or much of anywhere) since my family adopted my brother from Russia when I was 6. So this is a big deal for me.

I wanna be where the people are

For the first time, graduation didn’t look like a terrifying black hole of doom where fun goes to die. Instead, it started to look like a bright, daring, swashbuckling world of adventure where no one (not even myself) could tell me that going to graduate school abroad was a bad idea.

Don't tell me what I can't do

…even though I had no previous plan, savings, or preparation of any kind.


Explaining my new idea to my parents was fun.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan

But fortunately, they’re very supportive.

Believe in your dreams

So now, I face the future with new hope.

A new hope

I remind myself along the way why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Life is about the memories and experiences

When I tell people about it, I hope it comes out elegant and sophisticated.


But I know myself too well.

I seriously cannot emphasize how little we thought about this


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s